she loves me not... she loves me!

little moments during little days add up-you know- these little years are nearing three..
this will be our third new years trying to be together--
we'll see what happens next..

vacation!

have\n fun!

the wee girl is gone-
no fault of yours
no blame
no mistakes...

now its time only to heal
to love
to grow..

this life is mysterious...
unfold each day like another layer
be ready in each moment to except the gifts...

i am so sad for you in your loss- your losses
and yet i am happy to have shared in love with you and hope to more..

baby baby

nice cleavage!

but that's not all!

those eyes

that smile

and..

you (thought the hair is a little disturbing with the clip and all..)

....................just a wee reminder-- you rock!--and --I LOVE YOU!--

alas

times are hard these days

man,

everybody is suffering

the whole world is in shift

what is what?

where is home?

where do i come from?

who is the enemy?

how do i manage?

how do i have everything i want/need without taking on all of the sins(debts) of the world?

big questions

big media to try to give big answers

and yet--

little us

little me

little you

just doing out little thing

building muscles to feel bigger

stronger

better

equipt.....

i write this to tell you i understand why you may feel lost

because-

i feel lost too...

you cope

i cope

we cope

no dope

just waiting patiently for the

resolution

after fear......

love

&

BLISS

ain't it just like the night..

sara
i want and wish the best for YOU.
i see you-- you may but think that i do- but, I DO. and i think of you all the time.
there are so many things-

ohh to l ove you

to love you
means
looking forward to
coming home
to kiss and work and work and kiss
though i know you want more..

i am alive
alive
with the love for you

you\
\\\





i love you

and then

and then you come home
and tell me how you want a "home"...

home
is this
full of distraction
food going in the fridge
work to do
laundry
bills
schedules
dog...
AND
worm soft bed
art room full of supplies and old journels to reflect on
photos of friends
and
ME

and
YOU


home is here for now..

enjoy

i thought

that i would see you sometime today

i have never gone to bed like this before-

where are you, and are you OK?

see you in the distance

want to come find you

but i am obligated to be HERE.

keep thinking i hear you, want for all to be as it was yesterday- arms around me, arms around you, tender.

there is something missing, sara, something ...

at the same time, i feel like i have to describe something to you- something being ME--

@ most given points, i see things from multiple perspectives-- which can be very overwhelming and confusing at the same time- it's hard to make decisions like that, it's hard to even look at my own self without seeing two or three images of what i look like from any given angle-- i often feel like i am floating above, looking down on myself.. i ground myself through work-- through depth of connection, through concentration, through manifestation-- and at the SAME TIME i am CONSTANTLY distracted--

today sucked.

you told me to go fuck myself.

told me you "were sick" of my "shit".

that's fine.. i guess, if you want to be like the 10's of thousands of other people who talk to each other like that.. sure, we all get to that point where we just say stuff, where we (i) slam a pot down in the sink and say "WHAT?!" when someone says your (my) name.. but when you walk out- and don't come back-- then what? there is that fine line that we all touch on.. and then there is that point of deciding whether or not ot come back.

there is this place i am in too.. if you sincerely want to help me--then help me. i want to help you and am doing my best--tell me how to do more.

and lets see what happens.. until then, Sara, do what you can=make art and music sleep and eat and find your SELF.

i have always loved you.

& i always will.

play

i thought for sure that we would hang out more this summer- but apparently, this is a summer for work and deep inner growth.. (not complaining, but gee wiz, -- I MISS YOU)

can you listen with an open heart?

i wanted to ask her

how i could love her more

if there was anything she needed to tell me

i wanted to ask her

if she was happy..

but the week flew by and the hours got all overlapped and disheveled

and 7 days went by.

this is the time

for time to take over i guess.

but at the same time

i am still wanting to know;

HOW CAN I LOVE YOU MORE?

how can i explain? its so hard to get on.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i6NOfD48Gk

xoxo

listen
learn
look
live
---

YOU KNOW>> now,

just listen...

shoes



my grandmother was a sharp sarcastic woman- she was particular and specific in what she liked--
& she liked crab cakes, black on white, long war novels, gin and tonics, clam linguinni and stuffed scallop shells- and what she liked she collected many of... she was her; and everyone knew it...

i admire that in a person-
maybe it comes with age- but when i look at woman who knows what she likes, i am inspired--

i dare to say- sara grace-- you know what you like..


its raining again- off and on-- but it feels serious now, you know? all i want is to see you dancing in this purple rain-
now you---

wish i knew you then....

watching and wondering...?WHO IS SHE?

who is she who rides and tumbles-

is blond then brunette

who is a she--then (mistakenly) a he--

who is she?

she is my love

my true girl shining in radiant love of life

she is the one who means truth to me.

i love her

here

and there

and

EVERYWHERE

xxoo

thinking about you..

play music..
have fun...


you
are this.


you are



mine

hide nothing
hide
everything is here




growth SPURT
and then
there is
us

happy annniverary

ill die tryin'

i got the moon
i got nothin

left
to loose\\

and youre cryin

you are the muse

love love love love love love love love love love love love love love

to see you smile, laugh, be happy-- youre so cute, so YOU, worth knowing --so easy to LOVE.

i love you- i love getting to know you- i hold you so close to me, in this special sort of way- unknowingly, without too much trouble- o it is so easy-like breathing-like dancing-like growing-- i miss you*

thank you

thank you thank you

you can always leave

i know that its hard sometimes,

i have my poop- my illusions

i know

but you are getting to know now too-

and i dont blame you for being unhappy-

i am unhappy too when i see me that way.

maybe we are menstrual

and i am too overloaded under organized and just not available enough.

maybe this wont work

and i am like a child forcing a square block into a triangle hole.

maybe we are too selfish

right now

to see eachother.

maybe it will pass

in fact, i know it will-

and maybe you will stay and stick around and all that

because i know that you can always leave-

i just always hoped you would stay.

easy to remember- easy to forget

it's easy to remember how much i love you- how true you are, sara grace, and how much i connect with you in so many ways- and it's easy too, to forget how hard it can be sometimes..
there is no one word to sum the many parts of us.
there is only the kisses, the glances, the touches, the thoughts that we share---
we are 2 seperate beings, linked
by that kiss
that thought- the glance-- the touch.

love me and let me love you

i see you sara grace

*

*

*

i see you.. and i love you..

my valentine

sweet sour clementine

lover

friend

mothers child..

i see you..love to hear you.. ready to watch you blossom..

i remember when we met- i love to remember that day-those days- and still we meet again, and even though i know that you may be mad at me or even want to run from me- i know that this love i feel for you is like a bell that resonates all things...

love

more

live

more

sleep deeply

and trust.........

happy birthday baby

i love you